Leave me tired, reaching from Bowels to throat, gripping Just where the tongue and Soft palate touch when I Swallow, the cracking-locked jaw that Releases after 90 minutes of Careful, focused attention I can’t Afford to direct upon waking. Ache, belly fastened to the ground Rotted root drags, a Magnet and I am the steel, I break when I bend. Another day tomorrow.
Do the damn writing.
Doesn’t matter if it’s any good.
The 5:00 thing is serving me, at the moment.
All three kids have been sleeping until 6:30 or 7:00 these past few mornings. This, I recognize, is likely to shift any day now. Who knows what sickness we’ll contract tomorrow? Is there a project one of my kids forgot to do? What if I break my leg?
I’m always worried about breaking my leg. Never, really, my arm. Usually my leg, or that I’ll suddenly lose my hearing or eyesight. (I really did lose all hearing in one of my ears during my last pregnancy. That was scary.) I think of this as a morbid exercise in gratitude.
Did you write in your gratitude journal, Erin?
No, but does silently giving thanks every day that I still have four intact limbs and all of my five senses serve the same purpose as writing it down?
So right now, I remain a sighted, hearing individual whose three kids are as well as anybody can expect during a school year in winter (sure, there’s snot in our lives).
Because of my luck, I’ve gotten around two hours of writing time every single day since the top of the year. I do love a good, distinct beginning. Mondays are great. The first day of the month brings, almost always, some new challenge I’ve set for myself. So the first day of a whole new year is sparkling with potential. New stuff. I have to lose old stuff in order to welcome the new stuff, but that’s OK. I’ll have to find time for sleep at some point, but that’s a problem for another day.
I nearly forgot to include that my two older kids were home for two days doing “e-learning,” which is the school’s replacement for snow days. But, the whole experience turned out to be a delightful extension of Winter Break; everyone was home, but somewhat occupied. Something like a transition period.
I’m pretty happy I got my writing work done before they got up.
I’m also happy I still have working legs.
I hope you had a decent, smooth week. Good luck.
Keep going Erin! Good work. I remember those days of raising kids. The fact that you are getting two hours is amazing. Congrats!